Skipped Emotional Tuesday this week. I know.
Thats simply because its been an emotional week.
Thinking in the past can be a depresser.
Remembering all the people who wronged you
The pressure to be the best
The desire to always do well even if it means sellimg your soul
We tell ourselved thats just the past, that the past dpesnt hold us down.
Well I cant help it , I have one of these days.
I have had so many dreams in life that I fought. Really fought for.
I worked harder than anyone to make them a success
But when it really counted, I failed. The one thing I told others was despicable and incompetent for them to do I did.
And that depressed me.
I feel like im stuck inclosed glass box trying to breathe. Bare and open to anyone to mock and degrade me.
I am so tired of living in a society tjat male it seem like rhere is the right and wrong stepping stones im life
I am tired of being pressued by everyone around for whatever desires they want for my life
I just want to live for myself. I know realized that. I never once truly lived for myself. I always cared about what my parents think, my siblings think, extended family who is always watching thinks.
I couldnt happily choose what I wanted for my life because you are our responsibility.
I wish there was a place I can run to that I could just support myself without having people caring about my every move.
I wish I could live my dream now of teaching english abroad and not having to look back. No obligations, no student loans worries, nothing.
Welp, I guess I’m in a really bad mood. It will clear later. I just wanted to have a rant my feelings again. I’ll let you know if it does.Just keep me in your prayers if you pray. I need it.